Right Step

Anu's Chatter....

“Sometimes a step in the right direction may begin with a thousand steps in the wrong...”

I read this somewhere and felt empowered as I am a great fan of self discovery.  I Honestly believe that it is never, never too late to embark on such a journey.As it  takes a very small leap towards the direction required.

Taking the thought ahead--- --- during my writing sessions, I need to really, really  delve into myself, to create a character an incident or even a small blog like this. while doing that,I am also going through a sea of emotions and feelings, sometimes hard , sometimes soft but all  closest to my heart.The whole point is I might discover a hidden emotion that had never been dealt with or a relationship that has not been worked on and is finding an expression while penned.The creation could be fictional but the emotions are real.

Its like the deep sea diving. You don't know what you will find till you are in.This step to self discovery, of self healing, a life less than ordinary ( call it whatever you want )I took a few years back never to regret!

The other day I met a woman in my neighborhood (who had shifted newly...) she wanted to know what I do? I said I am a writer......Then a series of questions followed..After sometime, I simply told her to check online .By the by this female was a much bored housewife. She for sure has never embarked on a journey unto herself....or she is too lethargic to go there . There are so many such examples, much more boring than the people themselves ofcourse! 

Coming back to the topic friends, I cannot help but look at them around and wonder sometimes as to why they cannot put their time to  good use ? Even if they start investing a 50 % of their energies in the right direction (instead of whiling it away in gossiping, lazing around or complaining,)  their lives could be worth a while!

 It is never too late to start!

Bangkok

Anu’s Chatter--

Bangkok..

Friends recently I visited this city for a family vacation...was I surprised? I was shocked ...the first thought was ...it was so much like Mumbai...crowded and dirty..even  people seemed to be poor...the buildings looked old and brazen...there were tuk tuks everywhere (a different kind of a rickshaw like the one we see back home...its actually an open auto....) The traffic was jam packed and people just seemed to crawl around in their small dirty vehicles......

I was immediately disappointed....as I did not for a minute feel ‘the high’ of entering  a foreign country,like I usually feel when I step abroad.Surprise of surprises,I noticed how Bangkok looked similar to Mumbai too. A silent cry escaped meimmediately---Oh ‘God’ Why did I come to another India?

At the first look Bangkok appeared akin  to India but it was a city on its own( I realized....only in a few hours I was there)  with its own speed and tempo....The overcrowded streets with tuk tuks, cars, trucks, foreigners( specifically Europeans who visit for reasons best known  to the world here)...women in shortest of the shorts or negligible dresses( no they don't get raped in the streets and men do not have an eye on them all the time like some Indian men here do ) It is also one reason that I have added Bangkok to the list of my favorite cities of the world.All the  brownie points to the people of Bangkok who worship women and I take my words back...

Besides  this place is the haven of massage parlors with glamourous masseurs...(the makeup on the face of one  masseur will be enough for at least twenty Mumbai women going for a party) Its  a lucrative business out here ...so much so that some femininely inclined men even had a sex change to make big bucks!( now you know all the more when I said---- Thai people respect women?) These lady boys (a boy turned into a lady) work in the costume shows and massage parlors, heavily decked up in ‘sizzling skimpy clothes’ with heavy make-up! During the day the under shades of glamour are not so visible but by nightfall Bangkok changes into unrecognizable proportions. The narrow streets come alive , so do the roads with dazzling advertisements and lamps, the small and big eateries by the small and big lanes dish every cuisine in the world; while the pubs play latest english numbers and the tourists are ‘Maha busy’ admiring the thin thai companions and (s#$@%&**&) partners all rolled into one (they might have picked from the city street corners ) in the heavily smoke emanating, music pulsating, drink flowing bars skirting the roads.Life seems to breath into every nerve of Bangkok by nightfall.

On my part --- I shopped till I dropped , got thai massage done from wonderful sincere thai women( No,I would not have minded a lady boy ah ah..!)---WONDERFUL!  Ate delicious tropical fruits and Thai food--DELICIOUS! Took lovely Tuk Tuk rides...LOVELY.Wore shortest of the clothes and tasted freedom like  never before! FREEEEEDOM!

In the crazy midst of shops, lights,traffic, massage parlors,painted faces, smiling prostitutes and mad mad night life I did notice that there was NO--- littering , no massive breaking of traffic rules, no looking down upon women , no fear , no slavery,no subjugation, no dearth of smiling faces, no dearth of money,no dearth of ah... Make-up!

The bottom most thought----

Is Bangkok like Mumbai? NO,NO,No,NOOOOOO...NEVER!

The Burning Shepphires--A Review

Anu’s Chatter---

Review of the book --Burning Shepphires

Author--Suresh k. Goswami.

Total pages--259

Genre---Creative Fiction

Partridge Publications

Burning Sapphires” is a creative fiction about one  woman called as Ghulab Sahib who despite all the odds in life takes on the responsibility and leads the entire community towards a progressive solution and revives the injured spirits and minds of Kashmiris. Reads the intro ....

Dear friends this is my first written review of any book...Honestly , when I first started reading it only after  a couple of pages into it (on encountering the details on the heights and kilometers) I thought to myself  ‘Oh God , another research in the name of fiction!But I chugged along...., the whole drama unfolded in front of my eyes slowly and I saw the hidden poet in me surface after each passing page.The language is good; at places it needed further  editing though .I finished reading the book within two days.It runs very fast in spite of the detailing .I must say the book stands up to its proclamation of a --‘creative fiction’ in the end. It would be unfair if I do not mention some poetic pictorial expressions from it---

= ‘deep blue in color and aqua clear, 

= they drank tons to the depths of their souls,

= she felt all warmth and life leaving her as sadness started settling in, gradually encroaching upon her spirit,

 = getting into an intoxicated sleep, Khalid lifted his head and told her, “Ghulab, you are going to be my queen .

Apart from the above, there are some I could not relate to;that really, really needed further work--for more emotion...and effect---ah ah

-There lay, wrapped up in a shawl and stained with blood, a beautiful young girl. 

-As they walked through the city and through the endless rows of beautiful trees, she felt the embrace of her Father. 

-expressed his guilt admitting the failure of his regime.

Overall I would say that it was a good read..On the flip side,it needed further editing...I must also add here that the cover is a total mismatch to the book..I mean a very unimaginative one.I wondered all along about the glamorous girl on it ( besides admiring her beautiful skin..we women are always beauty conscious Chuckle.... chuckle) with lightening emanating from her....uh uh on her ...Umm...Umm from her ...Oh Whatever!---she doesnot matchup to the simple,beautiful yet brave Ghulab in the book.

Uh... Uh umm...umm till my next chuckle sorry Churn...

Big Bucks

Anu’s Chatter....

I came across this shocking piece of news on google....thought of sharing with you people...please leave your valuable  comments...after reading it...

BIG BUCKS------

The World Cup tournament is expected to attract 600,000 foreign visitors to Brazil and they will spend an estimated 25 billion reais while traveling in the country, said the Brazilian tourism board, Embratur.

The championship as a whole could inject 113 billion reais into the Brazilian economy by 2014, FIFA has said, citing an Ernst & Young report.

For its part, Brazil's government will have spent 33 billion reais on stadiums, transport and other infrastructure by the time the tournament kicks off, plus $10 million on advertising.

In contrast, very little is being spent on fighting the sexual exploitation of minors, campaigners say.

Despite more than a decade of government vows to eradicate child prostitution, the number of child sex workers in Brazil stood at around half a million in 2012, according to the National Forum for the Prevention of Child Labor, a network of non-profit groups.

That's a big increase since 2001, when 100,000 children worked in the sex trade, according to UNICEF estimates.

The Human Rights Secretariat earmarked 8 million reais for World Cup host cities to set up projects to fight child prostitution, but not all cities had programs in place to absorb the funds, said Santos.

Santos' department is finishing a review of child prostitution in key locations and will then decide what action to take. But any programs will only scratch the surface.

"We realize we're only touching the tip of the iceberg with these actions for the World Cup, but we hope to build capacity and implement longer-lasting programs in the future," he said.

Beyond the Human Rights Secretariat, the government could not provide data on total spending to fight child prostitution. But campaigners say some programs have been shut down and they argue the government isn't doing enough to address the problem.

"This subject isn't really part of the government's agenda and we don't see a willingness to combine efforts or increase resources to address the sexual exploitation of children," said Denise Cesario, executive manager of Fundação Abrinq, a local partner of Save the Children International.

Rape

Anu’s Chatter....

Two days back TOI reported of  eight rape cases in the city that took place,in the last eight months.All the rape victims were minors. Shocked beyond belief  is a lesser expression for me .....On one hand we are giving capital punishments for rapists( Delhi Nirbhaya case) but on the other, there are more rapes happening everywhere in the country (including our  city). What is happening here? I thought only animals( As people) lived in the far off corners of the world where, there is no education or culture...Am I proud to be an Indian?What  advise of caution can I give a girl child before  she ventures out in my city? 

One of my friends had implored me to write on the topic of  protective measures for women in Mumbai.Sorry! Nothing comes to my mind right now! 

Rape defies all parameters of ------respect  for  boundaries, normal thinking or for that matter a definition of a man .  The rapes of innocent minor girls is so ,so defamatory that it is beyond any tag..that I can even think exists in a normal  dictionary .Were Indian men always like this or we are getting to know about these Vulturous animals  now that women are venturing out or getting bolder enough to report them? At least  my concept of  ‘Indian ness’ has taken a beating guys ...Even in my wildest imagination ( Including that I put myself in the rapists position), cannot understand why someone should rape somebody?Wether it is consensual  or not .At the most I can think of is---- All rapists are sick people trying to express some kind of gender  supremacy( or any kind of sick supremacy I cannot fathom there ).I cannot even tag rapists as  animals.Animal Sex life is seasonal and for procreation. But a  rapists sex  is---- neither  seasonal, procreational or even pleasurable ? So why does he do it? The closest reason I can conclude is-----'Rape is a  sick expression of self denial, low self esteem, mental instability erupting from dark experiences of life that he might have failed to overcome with time.' 

Do you want to add something more to  the topic?  Please feel free to leave your comments.......

Heaven

Anu’s chatter....

I simply Love heaven...

That’s the Dog in BIg Boss house -----season 7...its adorable....I am a big fan of Heaven...its a beautiful Golden retriever ..(I had written a blog on the pet prototypes and mine was labrador or a golden retriever..?) I love heaven..it is so golden, furry , large  and always smiling.  It loves people, is sociable, always barges into some discussions and puts its nose everywhere as if to give its opinions.... it seems to know what is going on...with everyone around!It actively participates in the activities of the house ...... it hardly barks...it speaks through its eyes.

Yesterday ..heaven was given a task...... to be a witness to each contestants unburdening!.. As the contestants were  speaking to it in seclusion.....it was just so adorably quite, listening with its huge tongue out or just moving its head just sitting on his hinges....When Kamya cried heaven looked into her eyes, blinking sometimes nodding its cute head as if to say  “Don't cry sweetie,I know what you are going through!” God! Its adorable...After a while it just sat there closing its eyes quietly doing nothing. Maybe he was bored. The expression on its face said it all!It was so ,so very amusing for me that I was simply laughing.....Heaven made the task so adorable! As Humans we need to learn valuable lessons from it. What say?

Heaven is everywhere in the house ...accompanies the contestants into the storerooms, bathrooms,toilets ,and  when it’s not allowed in, it just slumps at the door , with its cute nose smelling the insides through the cracks in the door ...Like a true loyal friend! God it is so cute !I wait for instructions everyday  like ---- Heaven  ko Bachane ke liye-----Type karein HEA aur bhej dein 56882 par.

Anita Advani’s sad story......

Anu’s Chatter....

Today dear friends I came across the Interview of Ms Anita Advaniin Times. (she was the live in girl friend of yesteryears super star..Mr Rajesh Khanna...)She was also recently evicted from the Big Boss house.

 The reason why I am mentioning her  is I feel deeply sorry for this woman. She said she was living in with Mr khanna for the past 20 or so years before his death. Now she is as we all know ( and for those who do not) that she is fighting a legal battle with Mr Akshay kumar and Dimple Kapadia for Mr Khanna’s property.

Its popularly known that Mr khanna was very sick ,on heavy medication and had terrible mood swings in his last years that Mr Akshay kumar and Dimple took advantage of. Ms Advani was not allowed even anywhere near his body after his death. She was publicly humiliated to leave the truck carrying him for his last rites. This is needless to say is a very painful insult for the lady .She is living with it ‘day in and day out.’

All said and done I could not understand  why the lady was not intelligent to understand the superstars nature?  Mr Rajesh estranged ( FROM HIS FAMILY)Khanna gave a damn to his family when they were with him. If the sources are to be believed, he was extremely selfish and self centered in his hay days , that drove Dimple out of their marital home. He cared a damn about his young brides ( Dimpi was 15 years younger to him) needs. It is also clear from his will ,(he left everything to his daughters and not to his better half or this lady in question) that he had used them totally.

 In all the 20 odd years he lived in with Anita , the so called boyfriend did not bother to give this lady anything ( cash or Kind)? Could not she even once understand his selfish nature ?Or was she so blind and besotted  that she could not see what was happening to her?No one knows , why women try and behave like 'Devis' and worship men they fall for and cry later ? I had liked her in Big Boss. She did not cash on her story ( with Mr Khanna)either in the house for public sympathy. Anyways ,some people are just not born cunning....or is it true love...Nobody knows !

DO YOU WANT TO SHARE YOUR OWN OBSERVATIONS? LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS....PLEASE!PLEASE!

Matters of the heart

Anu’s Chatter....

Matters of the heart

In the healthy heart month ...... I am inspired to share some facts about this beautiful organ ----

Apart from occupying the most profound space in our body( being in the centre of it)this little organ  occupies the centre of our emotions, feelings , the very energy reason for our existence ,the  nucleus of human relations and of Love! If I ponder, there are a hundred other  smaller things like our little heart , in this universe , that  perform  biggest  of tasks.

For Example----

A banyan,tree that gives shade to thousands, has  the smallest of fruits .Obviously nature has seen to it that , whoever respites for shade under it , is saved of accidents.

A small creeper can dish out huge pumpkins that we relish so much.(By the way pumpkins are one of the heart friendly vegetables!) and nobody sleeps under the creeper so we are saved! 

On the other hand a huge elephant is thankfully a harmless vegetarian. Thank God!

If we sum up nature ,we will undoubtedly find hundreds of such examples,teaching us life lessons with paradoxical  existence.But we forget them , either because we do not have time or think of them as less significant and small. But dear friends, if the little heart is forgotten, we wont be alive to enjoy these very  small pleasures!

 Comming back to the heart of the topic, you will be surprised that the organ that is capable of churning the softest of the  feelings is the hardest-working muscle  of our body . ‘The Heart’ pumps out 2 ounces of blood at every heartbeat, adding up to at least 2,500 gallons daily. The heart has the ability to beat over 3 billion times in a person's life.

Thats why-in the month of the heart I wanted to give a small tribute to it by sharing my heart healthy secrets, with my readers. A few years back,I made these small changes and I am sure they will work for your heart’s health  too .

My Baby Small Steps --

1. Exercise---A basic exercise like brisk walking for ten to twenty minutes to begin with daily, makes blood rush into different parts of our bodies, spurting the pumping skills of the  heart a little more and removing the blockages if any. The simple reason is ---we were used to playing a lot as children and in its absence; we need to make space for some other activity in our adulthood! Besides exercise releases feel good hormones ! Feel good hormones in return , create a ‘Feel good healthy heart!’An old lady in my neighborhood was diagnosed with a severe heart condition, she went through a bypass. Considering her age, doctors gave her six months.She is 75 now and kicking. I asked this grandmother the secret to health.She said--’Happiness!’ The bottom line was, she started with Yoga after the operation , starting with very simple breathing exercises then progressing to other postures and  there was no looking back!Today she teaches Yoga and is an  inspiration for many!
2. Sleep-- stress free life and more sleep can make this little pumping muscle stronger because we all know that our heart never stops working! The cardinal rule of going to bed early and waking up early can also work but given the modern lifestyle or work pressures,  if you are  a late sleeper and do not hit sleep fast, you could try  meditation .  I learnt creative visualization from a friend who teaches meditation in her sunday counseling sessions at a local church . When  worry bogs me down at bed time,I meditate with my head on the pillow! It works like anesthesia for me !
3.    Eat healthy-- Very little changes in your eating habits like----consuming low cholesterol foods, or fried foods , less of sweets and  more of heart friendly  nuts , fruits , fibre, greens  can improve heart health  in less than a year.A teenager in my neighborhood suffering from obesity was prescribed with the above.(As she had kidney and lever problems because of weight,the doctor asked her to make a few  amends in her lifestyle or they could  creep to her heart. It is also a wrong notion that only elderly suffer from a ailing heart) After an year, after loosing  35 kgs this teenager went on to win the college beauty pageants. The truth is loosing huge amounts of weight needed very small changes in her eating habits. She cut short on a few dairy products and incorporated greens , fruits and nuts in place of road side fast foods she so much cherished earlier.She is  now an inspiration for the other youngsters around.

SO LET US PLEDGE TO KEEPING  A HEALTHY HEART BY  WHAT EVER IT TAKES TO MAKE IT THAT WAY?

PS--Did you make any small lifestyle changes that changed the way you look or feel? Share here!

IN THE WAKE OF RAPES IN OUR COUNTRY..........

Anu’s Chatter.....

I did not for sometime want to focus on crime and that was also the reason why, I did not write about it or..... avoid reading the first few pages of MUMBAI MIRROR.... that is  dedicated to crimes happening in and around Mumbai .......... dear friends as my attention caught the headline a couple of days back in-spite of myself, on the very first page of the same paper....  I am bound to react!  I needed to speak . I am doing the only way that I can best do----- Write! ...........The four accused in the Delhi Gruesome December Rape Case were awarded the capital punishment  and the fifth with a three years of imprisonment. ( because he is  a minor)....there were hundreds of responses to the capital punishment and the most shocking one is being of the  writer columnist Shobhaa De’s.....who spared no words in calling the legal system and people of our country ballistic...(because  she is totally against the capital punishment) . According to her  we Indians are turning into barbarians.. .......and   it will  not be  long before we will even come to stoning  people to death in the streets once their crime is established............in the same breath she went on to reveal .... about the pressure on the Judge  Mr Khanna , that might have forced him to pronounce such an extreme verdict...Honestly .....that was her personal view ..........but given the name and the front page coverage for the opinion expressed by a  famous writer like her ......... common people  will  bound to  take it seriously  .................I honestly, feel that the self obsessed celebrities  like Ms De should reserve   their opinions  to themselves instead of cashing in on every opportunity to write  on glaring  incidents happening  in our society  to just hog the limelight.........Having said that ....personally I feel , this verdict was a God sent  to women.  More  of the kind, should be handed out to the criminals in rape and Murder cases against women;  to instill fear and needless to say, to make our country a safer and a better place for the fairer sex!

SOME SAFETY MEASURES FOR WOMEN IN MUMBAI......I Know that most of the advises might  sound normal , but I take it on me to repeat ....at the cost of sounding cliche......

• Please make it  a point, not to travel in the local trains after late hours ...if you must, change over to a compartment that is crowded( At least having some women in it)...  Note - Being powerful, bold or liberated does not mean inviting trouble.....

• Please carry a fully charged mobile at all times...my practice is to carry a charger to work .....if I need to work late....please do the same...

• Follow the principal of ----no man is a saint....( that works for me)..please abstain from traveling alone or venturing out alone with a male colleague  or  a friend to deserted places or lonely offices on projects at late hours...if you need to ------please inform the concerned boss or higher ups and be in touch with one or two of your friends and family members....this should be true for women who take company vehicles to work and back....in the night....

• If at all you need to work late or travel late, carry a pepper spray....( I have not so far bought one but am in the process and most women should )...in the wake of crime increasing in Mumbai.

• The most important rule is----- you need not prove anything to anyone....I tell myself all the time that I need not prove how smart I am , how great I am or how liberated I am to strangers.........basically lie low, think quick and act with presence of mind in  sticky circumstances.Follow the cardinal principal of what you might preach your kids....Don't talk to strangers!

• This might sound 100% cliche and boring.....my personal  request to all women is to dress down.......all women must and should follow a basic international decency dressing code,while dressing for or while traveling in the public transports.I carry a change of clothes to the venue if I am partying or going out .

• Besides all this be pro-active help other women in trouble...... raise an alarm ,scream, shout .....run, call the police anything that can work at the time....

  I am reminded of an incident once recounted by a friend...in an overcrowded Mumbai local .... she witnessed a man touching ...a woman standing in front of him ....unethically.....either the woman was blind or she was too engrossed  balancing the baby on her shoulder that she did not pay attention....  My friend ( A liberated Mumbaite and a Modern Indian Woman by all standards) was angry and glared at the man .When it did not work she asked him if the woman standing in the front was his wife?He moved his head in negative .......after which, she started giving him  a  speech about morality . What happened next dear friends you can  only visualize...specially in an overcrowded public transport in Mumbai,  where people are frustrated and some are even looking for  entertainment to pass time.........THE MAN HAD TO BEAR THE BRUNT OF THE PUBLIC.....OF COURSE!

IF YOU CAN COME UP WITH ANY-OTHER SAFETY RULES FOR WOMEN YOU ARE MOST WELCOME TO SHARE WITH MY READERS.....You can also respond to this blog...by recounting your own experiences  on  eve-teasing and how you dealt with it...?

PERSONAL COMMENTS

Anu’s chatter....

Passing personal comments are a total no, no as far as I am concerned..... they should not be encouraged at all costs....

I have  a  close friend who  passes personal comments like---
“You have  a huge upper body that does not match  the lower....... you have  a protruding stomach....you need to work more at it!" "You have not lost  an inch , even after heavy workouts”----  ...and hundreds of other irritating comments...like---”Need to work on your Hindi dear, it is not good like so and so....you do not cook good food like, so and so..... you are lazy, you sleep too much in the afternoons, not like so and so, who is  busy running around in the house” When I pointed out to her that she was too personal in her comments, She  retaliated saying - "I need to be as I am a close friend!!!" 


I realized that not only  a friend, a parent can also pass derogatory comments making it painful for the child involved.

I find one mother of two in my locality perennially comparing her two kids. If that was not irritating enough, I found that she has the bad habit of passing comments on her five year old daughter in front of others.....like -"She is a show of !!?” To the kid----”Do you think, you are very over smart?.........  why do you act like a snob?..... why do you talk like that? .........Are you mad ,come here show of?........ what do you think  you are doing?” 

Close relatives, friends or for that matter  personal comments of parents can be irritating to start with,  derogatory and detrimental to a person's psyche.....for a long time to come...If you agree and have come across such instances in your own life ..... please ....share ...on this site!