Most people complain about relationship problems. Why some work and some don’t?!!!! The truth is most are not aware that - like all things in life, relationships cannot be taken for granted...wether it is between parents and children,....siblings or friends . Simply because , relationships are the most special; fragile entities , governed by certain universal rules.....When two individuals get into a relationship, they have inadvertently decided on a pact..... that needs to be as alive and breathing like the people themselves! Having said that a major question I end up asking and answering often ...... is, why irrespective of the hard work, sometimes a relationship fails... . After walking this earth for almost four decades , living in a marriage as long as I can remember, rearing children, making it work with friends and relatives on a day to day basis, life has taught me valuable lessons.....about people and to look for gaps ......... ( Like reading between the lines for hidden meanings ) and darlings .... unconditional love does not always work even with the closest and one needs to be brutally practical at times! Over the years, I have developed , my own rules to judge a RELATIONSHIP by...... THEY ARE-------
Understanding ---A fair amount of understanding is essential for a good relationship. The Gap------Empathy and ability to put yourself in other persons position and vice- versa is 'the soul' to a relationship to thrive on.
Reciprocation.....Most of the married couples feel that their partners fall short in reciprocating their feelings. The result is , they end up feeling unloved.The Gap-----If a parner feels that he/she is constanly giving more-emotionally, physically or intellectually ..without being recognized by the other...then surely, the marriage is heading towards murky waters ........... selfishness can break the best of hearts!
Belief----- the most important parameter to a relationship is, belief....The Gap---- lack of belief in the person involved and the ability to dream along .......takes one to a long lasting relationship.
Time...spent together is the time gained together.The Gap----- Familiarity can breed contempt ..... but if quality time not spent with a friend, relative or a partner can ruin an otherwise enriching relationship.
Lack of judgement....A good relation is the one that lacks judgement! The Gap----An observation is clearly different from a judgement! An observation is positive while a judgement is negative!
Happiness........ is one of the most important parameters to a good..relationship. It is about feeling happy, fulfilled...or complete....... The Gap----If a relationship is draining your happiness , sapping your energy and making you miserable .....it is possible that it lacks some of the above discussed or it is one sided...Or simply------It is time for you to quit !