Monday, 29 July 2013

Relationship Rules


Anu’s chatter....

Most people complain about relationship problems. Why some  work and some don’t?!!!! The truth is most  are not  aware  that - like all  things in life, relationships cannot be taken for granted...wether it is between parents and  children,....siblings or friends . Simply  because , relationships are the most special;  fragile entities , governed by certain universal rules.....When two  individuals  get into a relationship, they have inadvertently  decided  on a pact..... that needs to be as  alive  and breathing like the people themselves! Having said that a  major question I end up asking and answering often ...... is, why irrespective of  the hard work, sometimes a relationship fails... . After walking this earth for almost four decades , living in a marriage as long as I can remember, rearing children, making it work with friends and relatives on a day to day basis, life has taught me valuable lessons.....about  people and to look for gaps  ......... ( Like reading between the lines for hidden meanings ) and darlings .... unconditional love does not always work even with the closest  and one needs to be brutally  practical at times! Over the years, I have developed , my own  rules to judge a  RELATIONSHIP by...... THEY ARE-------

Communication.........It  is 'the basis' to a great relationship.Now for the gaps-  Are you able to communicate properly?...... are you able to get that kind of emotional respite or response .... or it ends in fights and misunderstandings? Are you able to unburden  yourself  with a person?  If the above is not happening....the relationship is either not right for you ....or it could be one sided ........besides too much or too little  communication can also create  a rift  between people.
Understanding ---A fair amount of understanding is essential for a good relationship. The Gap------Empathy and ability to put yourself in other persons position and vice- versa is 'the soul'  to a relationship to thrive on.
Reciprocation.....Most of the married couples feel that their partners fall short in reciprocating their feelings. The result is , they end up feeling unloved.The Gap-----If a parner feels that he/she is constanly giving more-emotionally, physically or intellectually  ..without being recognized by the other...then surely, the marriage is heading towards murky waters ........... selfishness can break the best of hearts!
 Belief----- the most important parameter to a relationship  is,  belief....The Gap---- lack of belief  in the person involved and the ability to dream along .......takes one to a long lasting relationship.

 Time...spent  together  is the time gained together.The Gap----- Familiarity can breed contempt ..... but if quality time not  spent with a friend, relative or  a partner can ruin an otherwise  enriching relationship.
 Lack of judgement....A good relation is the one that lacks judgement! The Gap----An observation is clearly different from a judgement! An observation is positive while a judgement is negative!
Happiness........ is one of the most important parameters to a good..relationship. It is  about feeling happy, fulfilled...or  complete....... The Gap----If  a relationship is draining your happiness , sapping your energy  and making you miserable .....it is possible that it lacks some of the above discussed or  it is one sided...Or  simply------It is  time for you to quit ! 



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