Anu’s chatter....
Passing personal comments are a total no, no as far as I am concerned..... they should not be encouraged at all costs....
I have a close friend who passes personal comments like---
“You have a huge upper body that does not match the lower....... you have a protruding stomach....you need to work more at it!" "You have not lost an inch , even after heavy workouts”---- ...and hundreds of other irritating comments...like---”Need to work on your Hindi dear, it is not good like so and so....you do not cook good food like, so and so..... you are lazy, you sleep too much in the afternoons, not like so and so, who is busy running around in the house” When I pointed out to her that she was too personal in her comments, She retaliated saying - "I need to be as I am a close friend!!!"
I realized that not only a friend, a parent can also pass derogatory comments making it painful for the child involved.
I find one mother of two in my locality perennially comparing her two kids. If that was not irritating enough, I found that she has the bad habit of passing comments on her five year old daughter in front of others.....like -"She is a show of !!?” To the kid----”Do you think, you are very over smart?......... why do you act like a snob?..... why do you talk like that? .........Are you mad ,come here show of?........ what do you think you are doing?”
Close relatives, friends or for that matter personal comments of parents can be irritating to start with, derogatory and detrimental to a person's psyche.....for a long time to come...If you agree and have come across such instances in your own life ..... please ....share ...on this site!
this is a very good topic and an eye opener to those who are doing this and thought they are doing the right thing.
ReplyDeleteI think we all should avoid this very common mistake of tactlessly giving our personal comments.
if the intention is good (like you want to help that person become better), then better find a way to do it the right way. if you cant figure out the right way of saying things, better start learning how to keep your personal opinion to yourself.
- Irene lim
Thanks dear that is another angle of looking at the problem ...but all people are not as thoughtful as you are ...specially parents feel extremely bad when pointed out about their mistakes...the question is how to do it....?
ReplyDelete